| |
| |
|
Attraction Information brought to you by personals4all.com |
|
|
|
What People Are Really Interested In & How to Win Friends
A lot of your people problems and concerns about what other people think will fade into the background when you understand one crucial reality. Most people are interested in you only to the extent they can get something from you. I know this sounds harsh. Bear with me a moment while I explain. Apart from your family and closest friends most other people see you as either a hindrance or as a means to getting what they want. If you can help them get what they want they will smile at you, say you are wonderful and do whatever they can to keep you happy and available in the future. On the other hand if you stop being a means to the fulfillment of their needs these very same people may well shun you, insult you and have nothing to do with you. Let me give you an example. You meet someone special and you date. Things progress and a few weeks later you are both in love and life has never been better. You are the center of the universe for that person and whatever you desire is immediately granted with a smile. Fast forward three months and the same person is screaming down the phone at you, saying how useless you are and never to call again! What happened? How could something so good go so wrong? In very simple terms you went from satisfying the other persons emotional needs to not satisfying them. And the extreme change in how they treat you is because of what I said at the beginning of this article: Most people are interested in you only to the extent they can get something from you. Whereas in the early days of the relationship you attended to all of the other persons needs as time passed you grew complacent and things slipped to the point that key needs went unsatisfied. At one point you were the answer to this persons prayers but now you serve no purpose in this persons life hence the anger and annoyance. How can you use this insight? 1. Be alert to the unspoken demands the people in you life place on you. And understand that your relationships depend on the meeting of these underlying needs. 2. If you want to be free of a relationship that is limiting you then stop offering the demanded input whether that be advice, time, acceptance or any other resource or support. Be ready for fireworks though since your input will often be taken for granted until you withdraw it. 3. Realize that when you feel self conscious there is no need to be since most people are preoccupied being self conscious themselves! And as far as they are concerned you are a means to an end. If John Friend phones you to go to the cinema it is so he will enjoy your company and to avoid looking silly going there alone. Of course the same applies to you and I. And it is the mutual filling of needs that underpins interactions, friendships and business relationships. To sum up. We all want something from each other usually we are looking to fill emotional needs and this is the way the world is. Once you accept this you can use this understanding to look for what people want from you and then meet their needs. If you do this effectively you will never be short of friends and people keen to spend time with you. About The Author Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Compounding Effect of Selfishness Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a fountain at a local shopping centre. She was given one, and duly walked over to the fountain, stopped for a few seconds, and threw it into the water, and came back to us, smiling. What Did I Do? Will Someone Tell me? There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in order to help people understand one another.One of the areas that causes a lot of grief in business and especially in relationships, is that no matter what category you fall into you are either a:Say Show FeelDiscovering what the other person is in this area, can take you a long way in building relations, credibility, confidence and the ability to make the other person happy. What Do You Want This Year? Christmas is all around us, and many people are making up wish lists. Those who aren't doing that are busy setting down their New Year's Resolutions already. The Centre of Creative Powers! Evolution is nothing but seeking with clarity, demanding clarity at every moment. Every moment clarify to yourself the greater purpose of everything you do. Buying the Myth So much life conditioning inhibits the brilliance that is in you. Are you accessing all that is available to you? As a brilliant coach, as a brilliant human-being, as a brilliant spiritual being, as a bright light in the world, you have access to so much abundance. Are You The Worlds Expert On Yourself? Congratulations! You are the world's expert.That's right: you are the world's expert. The Likeability Factor - Do You Have It? Growing up, we all had a mental picture of the perfect life partner The person we thought would be our happily-ever-after -- a person with a perfect smile, beautiful eyes, and an adorable button nose. Fast forward to reality and who did you wind up with?Chances are that if your partner of choice happens to be male, you ended up with a guy who is shorter than you expected, has less hair than you anticipated, but overall is a pretty neat fellow. On Uniqueness Is being special or unique a property of an object (let us say, a human being), independent of the existence or the actions of observers - or is this a product of a common judgement of a group of people?In the first case - every human being is "special", "one of a kind, sui generis, unique". This property of being unique is context-independent, a Ding am Sich. How to Manage Self Consciousness Self consciousness is an essential part of being human, but it can make social situations really tricky sometimes. Here's what you can do about it if it happens to you. Plants, Herbs, And Roots For Love In the column Plants, Herbs and Roots For Prosperity, I explain in detail how to practically use a plant material to attract things to you, so refer to that if you have never used plant matter in magic before.In brief, the main methods of using plant material to draw love are: carrying the substance on your person in a locket or a sachet, boiling the herb and sprinkling the residual water around your residence, putting a sprig of it under your bed or in your pillow and burning it as incense. Whats the Opposite of Doubt? The Law of Attraction teaches us that whatever you focus on, you will attract MORE of into your life--whether it's wanted or unwanted. To deliberately attract more of what you enjoy, you need do only three things: Be very clear about what you want--write it down, find the precise words that describe your desire. Respect Is A Four-Letter Word One of the most important needs for every human being is the need to be respected. It doesn't matter if you or anyone else is a corporate executive, host of your own television show, short-order cook, Wal-Mart greeter or stay-at-home parent. The Keys To Faster Evolution Prosperity is management of positive energy. It's individual capacity to pour energy out in the world and re-circulate back in our life. Top 10 Ways to Use Attraction To Build Your Business Most business people would rather have customers seek us out based on a strong personal referral from a satisfied customer, than go to the expense of mass advertising. It's called marketing through attraction. Birthing Your Dream Are you ready to birth a dream and not sure about the process, wondering if you are stepping out too far this time? Will God bless your dream, or is it His dream you're nurturing? Consider a pregnant woman. We've all had opportunity to observe the process, if not actually experience it. Some Straight Talk About Your Success And Happiness I want to warn you: this article can cause some discomfort, indignation and sense of insult in minds of people who are not ready to be successful. If you are not ready to face the truth, please don't read this article, because I don't want to hurt your feelings for nothing. Electrical Deficiencies Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our sensors are designed to detect conductors of energy that have the power to stir our feelings.It is this power we long for in particular individuals that manage to stir these responses in us, whether they manage to match their negatives with our positives or vice versa, generating a current we are unconsciously plugged into and are likely to become hooked on like junkies, particular currents determined by our electrical weaknesses and deficiencies, and the energy levels and forms we actually need to complement and supplement this malnutrition. Putting Yourself on the Road to Success What separates successful people from unsuccessful people, achievers from non-achievers, winners from losers? Are people born that way or do they develop habits as they grow older which determine their stations in life?It would be fair to say that the answers to these questions are very complex ones. It is a combination of factors which include such things as your country of birth, when you were born, your IQ, your physique, your capacity to remember, your environment, your parents, your friends, your associates, the formal education you receive and the books you read. Getting What You Want Most From Other People Very often in relationships we do not seem to be able to get the one thing we want more than anything else - the approval of other people. In fact the more we want it the more difficult it can be to turn the situation around. On St. Valentines Day, Or Any Romantic Interlude, Woo Your Sweetheart With Chocolates, Roses... On Valentine's Day, or any romantic interlude, lovers should woo their sweethearts with chocolates and roses -- but also a Leadership Talk.My experience in teaching the Leadership Talk to thousands of leaders worldwide for the past 21 years confirms that the Talk is a boon for leaders of all ranks and functions in their jobs and careers.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
